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February Funk

I promised myself to publish at least two blog posts per month in 2018. It is late February, and I am just writing my first for the month. It is not the post I planned to write. Hopefully, I’ll still get that done in the last few days of the month.

For now, I just need to acknowledge that February has been an “off” month and move forward.

There is no major reason for my February Funk. Through introspection, I have come to recognize some contributing factors.

One of my problems has been vertigo attacks and the residual symptoms. All in all, I am very grateful for my great health, but I have dealt with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo occasionally, since January 2017. I wrote about my first attack here. After months of feeling fine, I had a severe attack, with extreme nausea, on December 10, 2017. That one really knocked me down. My most recent attack was January 23, 2018. It came on after a prolonged period lying flat at a periodontist appointment. I treated it with the Epley Maneuver, which a vestibular therapist taught me to perform on myself, so that I don’t have to see a doctor every time I have an attack. I am grateful for that, but I have not felt “normal” since my last two attacks in January. I feel a sense of disequilibrium in variety of positions, and, frustratingly, I have felt a bit limited. I am very grateful that, unless I am in an active attack, my cycling is largely unaffected. I have had to modify resistance training, yoga and other exercise, though, and I don’t like that. I am afraid to sleep in any position, except on my back, propped up on two thick pillows. The sensation that it would not take much to send me into another attack has left me feeling vulnerable in a way that is uncomfortable.

Combined with the vertigo, winter weather has added to my funk. I am a summer girl, so Kansas winters are always tough on me. Winter driving is a particular fear of mine. While I know that this winter could have been (and still may be) much worse than it has been, but I have had a few very stressful driving experiences this season. The worst one occurred unexpectedly earlier this month, when I was driving back from Manhattan, Kansas, after a Biking Across Kansas volunteer staff meeting. While I knew northern Kansas had a winter weather advisory starting at 6 p.m., south central Kansas was not under any kind of advisory. I left Manhattan by 5 p.m. and drove south. The first half of my drive was fine, but I suddenly realized, while driving 75 mph on the interstate, that freezing precipitation had started. My heart started was pounding. I reduced my speed and took deep breaths to calm myself. My biggest problem was that my defroster was not keeping up with the precipitation in the subzero wind chill. No matter what I tried, the portion of the windshield through which I could see grew narrower and narrower. My anxiety became overwhelming on the dark, icy interstate. I desperately needed to exit, but could barely see to do it. I turned on my emergency flashers and slowed even more, barely able to see at all. Finally, I made it to an exit with a truck stop. Shaking because of my greatly reduced vision, I managed to make my way onto the street and then make a left turn into the truck stop. I could not really see where I was going and ended up among the diesel pumps and semi-trailers. Somehow, I weaved my way to an access road and then into a McDonald’s parking lot. I got out, scraped my windows and sat for several minutes, with the defroster on full blast and the windshield wipers running. Eventually, I found the courage to head the remaining 22 miles home on county roads. I was grateful to make it home safely, but the experience was terrifying and left me feeling completely spent, even the next day.

I fully realize that these are small problems, in the big scheme of all that people face in this world. Still the disequilibrium of my lingering vertigo symptoms, my fear of setting off another attack of vertigo and the adrenaline crash after my frightening drive have left me feeling drained and off and ineffective this month. I have felt an unsettling lack of clarity around goals for my coaching practice and other areas of life, and I have felt a heavy inertia settle in and weigh me down.

In my coaching practice, I work with people who choose to live and age with power and purpose regardless of life’s challenges, so I must make the conscious decision to get back on track and do the same. The JustWind philosophy teaches that we can face the Kansas-strength winds of life and still look around and appreciate what we have and choose to keep taking brave steps forward. I talk to my coaching clients about viewing their mistakes, shortfalls and steps backward with curiosity, not judgment. I have to remind myself to do the same. I realize that sometimes we need to take a step back to look around and make sure we are headed the right way. Maybe that is part of what is happening for me.

I just can’t stay here. I need to keep moving forward and making progress and evolving and growing. As part of that process, I am in day three of a reset cleanse. This is not a fast. That works for some people, but it is not for me. I don’t function well at all without food. I am just taking extra care for the next two weeks to emphasize whole foods even more diligently than I usually do. During this period of feeling off, my chocolate cravings have returned. This reset cleanse will help me eliminate those. It will also allow me to lose the sense of heaviness that I have been feeling. Some sunshine (which we have for the first time in a week!) and warm weather would certainly help that, but those things are out of my control, so I will control what I can and eat very cleanly, while incorporating empowered movement and engaged mindfulness.

I will treat myself with compassion, acknowledge the impact of the vertigo and the terrifying drive, and view my feelings of the last several weeks with curiosity and openness, learning from them and carrying those lessons forward, as I resume my journey.

Our Habits=Our Lives

January is a great time to reflect on the direction we choose for our lives in the coming year and beyond. My process for doing that begins with a deep look at how my daily actions are serving my values, purpose, personal and business missions and vision for my life.

While each of those facets could be the subject of at least one blog post, my goal here is to explore the ways that our habits shape, direct and even create our lives.

“If I consider my life honestly, I see that it is governed by a certain very small number of patterns of events which I take part in over and over again . . . When I see how very few of them there are, I begin to understand what huge effect these few patterns have on my life and my capacity to live. If these patterns are good for me, I can live well. If they are bad for me, I can’t.” —Christopher Alexander

Dictionary.com defines “habit” as:

“an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.”

Thoughtful consideration of that definition illuminates the importance of habits in our lives. When our patterns of behavior, of nourishing and moving our bodies, of speaking, of consuming information, of treating humans and nonhumans in the world and of an almost limitless assortment of other possible actions are leading us in the direction we want to go in our lives, the path ahead of us becomes easy to follow. It no longer requires effortful resolve. It is just what we do.

Conversely, it is easy to be led mindlessly away, little by little, from our desired destination, if our habits do not serve what we truly want to create in our lives.

As we begin to move through this new year, Chris Brogan provides us with a winning strategy:

“My great years are built on keeping a bigger mission in front of me, but looking at my daily actions as the molecules of that mission.”

He clearly recognizes the necessity of attending to the small daily habits to achieve the bigger goal.

I make more effective choices when I approach my daily routine mindfully and stop to consider whether a choice of action or an ingrained habit advances either my personal or business mission.

As a journalist for National Geographic, Dan Buettner set out to learn the secrets of the communities in which the world’s longest-lived people thrive. His journey led him to write The Blue Zones, so that he could share the longevity practices he had uncovered.

The book made an impression on me when I read it several years ago, and I was reminded of it late last year when I came across The True Vitality Test, which offered a snapshot of my likely life expectancy, contrasted with my healthy life expectancy and my possible life expectancy.

Although I consider myself very healthy, and I have recently earned my certification as a health coach, I was startled by the 10-year gap between my life expectancy and my healthy life expectancy.

I recognized that, to serve my purpose and values, I needed to adjust my personal mission. It quickly became:  To close the gap between my life expectancy and my healthy life expectancy. (My next blog post will elaborate on this concept, as well as on related programs that I will offer through my coaching practice.)

My personal mission to close the gap between my life expectancy and my healthy life expectancy serves as a gauge to assess the foods I eat daily, the way I eat those foods, my stress level, the amount and quality of my sleep and other habits that govern my life.

If I determine that my habits are not carrying me closer to my mission, I am in a powerful position to choose actions that will and practice them regularly so that they become habits.

My mission as a health and habit change coach is to teach the lifestyle practices (habits) that help people live and age with power and purpose, while contributing to the creation of a healthier, more compassionate world.

The small actions, or “molecules,” as Chris Brogan calls them, that shape our days ultimately shape our lives.

Keeping our mission in the front of our minds enhances our ability to make positive daily choices.

One way I do this is by meditating on my missions in my mindfulness practice every day. For me, this is just a matter of reciting my missions in my head (along with other important guiding recitations) while I am in a state of focused calm.

Empowered movement is an important component of both my self-care and my coaching practice. Empowered movement means exercising from a place of clear intention and using the time and space that movement can create to speak to myself in an empowering way. Along with a quote or mantra that I choose for a bike ride, walk, yoga practice, or other form of exercise, I also remind myself of my missions and the other guides that help me stay focused.

I anchor my missions for myself by posting them near my computer at work and in my “organization station” (a closet I have claimed as my own) at home. I see these and other reminders frequently, and, in the case of my computer at work, somewhere that I may encounter stressors that threaten to steer me off course. These anchors help me persevere on the path that I have chosen.

My daily choices are not perfect, but I am much more likely to choose actions and cultivate habits that serve my missions when I remind myself of them frequently. Essentially, these practices that I have in place are, themselves, molecules of my mission, just as they guide the other habits that stack up to create the big picture of my life.

Will Durant summarized some of Aristotle’s teachings by explaining that the philosopher believed,

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

It is rare that a single act defines our lives or determines whether we live the missions we have discerned for ourselves. However, what we do repeatedly certainly does have a significant effect on the masterpiece we are creating through our lives.

When we hold our mission in mind and choose our actions based on a commitment to serving that mission, those actions will become habits, and those habits will add up to excellence.

See future posts for my practices around clarifying and honoring my values, purpose, mission, motivations and vision. In the meantime, pay close attention to your habits because they determine your life.

The Best Books I Read in 2017

It has been a long time since my last post. During 2017, most of my focus was on achieving my health coaching certification. I accomplished that goal last week and will be sharing more about my coaching journey in future posts. One of my key priorities for 2018 is to blog much more consistently. I am kicking off my 2018 blogging with my annual list of the best books I read—those I rated four or five stars in Goodreads—during the previous year.

Alphabetically, within category, here are my favorites from 2017:

Business

  • Main Street Entrepreneur: Build Your Dream Company Doing What You Love Where You Live, Michael Glauser—I really enjoyed this combination of memoir and business manual. In 2014, cyclist and business professor Michael Glauser biked across the United States, interviewing 100 small-town entrepreneurs along the way. In this engaging and informative book, he distills their wisdom and lessons into nine key principles for building an entrepreneurial business.

Health

  • Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body’s Most Underrated Organ, by Giulia Enders—Enders does an amazing job of explaining in an interesting, entertaining and accessible way how our gastrointestinal health influences our overall health. She takes a broad and complicated topic and, with a sense of humor and a knack for appropriate simplification, makes it easy to understand. I consider this a real talent, for both a writer and a scientist.
  • Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, by Adam Alter— As the mother of a 13 year old, I found this book both enlightening and alarming. Alter makes a compelling argument about the addictive risks of technology in our modern world.
  • Miracle Mindset: A Mother, Her Son, and Life’s Hardest Lessons, by JJ Virgin—This is an incredible story of an amazing recovery pushed by a mom who was committed to never giving up on her son after a horrific accident. JJ Virgin is well connected in the alternative health community and drew upon those resources to give her son every possible chance. She shares her lessons about the importance of mindset in overcoming intimidating odds and surviving terrifying traumas and stressors.
  • N of 1: One Man’s Harvard-Documented Remission of Incurable Cancer Using Only Natural Methods, Glenn Sabin—Sabin emphasizes the role of nutrition and explains the personalized supplementation regimen that helped him achieve long-term remission from incurable leukemia. Although he was clear that his story was not prescriptive, it was inspirational and thought provoking.
  • Proteinaholic: How Our Obsession with Meat Is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It, by Garth Davis—Bariatric surgeon Garth Davis delivers a meticulously researched explanation of the array of health problems associated with the of the overconsumption of animal protein in the US. He also shares his personal journey from sickly meat eater to vibrant, plant-based athlete. What he learned in his research has completely transformed his life and practice.

History

  • Learning to Breathe Fire: The Rise of CrossFit and the Primal Future of Fitness, by JC Hatch—Although I am not a CrossFitter and, after reading this, don’t really think it is the fitness discipline for me, I was intrigued by this part-history/part-memoir, and I learned a lot about the CrossFit culture.
  • The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women, by Kate Moore—This is a well-researched historical account of women whose story deserves to be told. Young girls and women were recruited by corporations to highlight watches and military dials with radium-laced paint during the 1910’s and 1920’s. The dangers of their work were hidden (even from the women themselves) by their companies, and the painters endured horrendous suffering, disfigurement and death. Moore honors the women who rose from their suffering to fight for justice and legal protection for workers.

Memoir/Biography

  • Chancers: Addiction, Prison, Recovery, Love: One Couple’s Memoir, by Susan Stellin & Graham McIndoe—Jointly written by a couple, this book has a unique and conversational tone. Their story is powerful and must have taken a lot of courage to share. It provides insights into prison life, immigration issues, addiction and love.
  • Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble, by Dan Lyons—This memoir of a man in his 50’s attempting to move from a career as a well-respected journalist to a marketer in tech start-up HubSpot was absolutely fascinating, highly entertaining and also really scary.
  • Forward: A Memoir, by Abby Wambach—Wambach tells the story of her soccer career and the rest of her life with engaging detail. She shares honestly and openly about her struggles to love herself, accept her sexual orientation and feel worthy in the world.
  • Girl in the Woods: A Memoir, by Aspen Matis—This was a powerful book that I thought about during the day when I couldn’t read it and was sad to finish. Matis’ vivid storytelling of her epic journey on the Pacific Crest Trail after being raped her second day of college affected me deeply. Her brave effort to become the author of her own life revealed additional layers of complication that were both fascinating and remarkable.
  • Glitter and Glue, by Kelly Corrigan—I liked this book from the beginning, but it grew on me more and more as I read. Corrigan recalls the five months she spent working as a nanny for a family in Australia, after the children’s mother had died of cancer. The experience causes her to reconsider her relationship with her own mother, and she tells the captivating story of her nanny experience, while sharing personal reflections of her own maternal connection.
  • Hard Time: Life with Sheriff Joe Arpaio in America’s Toughest Jail, by Shaun Attwood—This book was more memoir than I expected, but that is what made it so interesting to read. I anticipated an exposé of Joe Arpaio, rather than a fascinating story about Attwood’s own experience with imprisonment under his reign. I thoroughly enjoyed the book as it was, and I did learn about the conditions in the jail.
  • If Nuns Ruled the World: Ten Sisters on a Mission, by Jo Piazza—I loved this book. Piazza tells the fascinating stories of 10 nuns who are doing great things in the world—from combating human trafficking to working for nuclear disarmament. Piazza’s vivid descriptions of the women recalled for me fond memories of the Catholic sisters who have played important roles in my life, both in school and in my nonprofit work.
  • In the Sanctuary of Outcasts, by Neil White—A unique twist on a prison memoir, this book tells the fascinating story of White’s stay at a prison that was also the last leprosy colony in the US—in the 1990’s! His story was gripping, moving and utterly surprising.
  • Inferno: A Doctor’s Ebola Story, by Steven Hatch—This is a great account of Hatch’s tenure as a volunteer physician during the 2014 Ebola crisis in Liberia. He does a great job of providing both factual and personal narratives of the epidemic.
  • Lucky, by Alice Sebold—This is Sebold’s courageous account of the terrifying rape and beating she endured as a college freshman in 1981. She details the brutal attack and the ensuing legal and medical experiences, but she also reveals the deeper internal and interpersonal repercussions of rape among women and between racial groups, when the victim and perpetrator are from dissimilar backgrounds. She acknowledges that some women may make different, yet valid, choices than she about how to handle and cope with a rape.

Personal Development/Coaching

  • Designing Your Life: Build a Life That Works for You, by William Burnett & Dave Evans—This is an outstanding guide for people of any age who want to live an authentic life doing work that is exciting and meaningful to them. Based on a very popular course at Stanford, the authors, who are both engineers, apply design theory to life design. There are excellent and unique suggestions for finding and creating one’s own path. It is one of the best career books I have ever read. I have recommended it to many of the students I advise.
  • Healthy Brain, Happy Life, by Wendy Suzuki—This excellent book combines Suzuki’s personal growth journey with solid neuroscience to explain why exercise, intention and meditation make clear and important changes to our lives and our brains. There are a lot of useful suggestions that anyone can implement to improve their own lives.
  • Living with Intent: My Somewhat Messy Journey to Purpose, Peace, and Joy, by Mallika Chopra—Written by Deepak Chopra’s daughter Mallika, this book provides an accessible and practical guide to incorporate more conscious living into busy, modern lives. She does it in a way that combines memoir with advice, making the book an engaging read.
  • Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success by Brad Stulberg & Steve MagnessThis book details several key practices for improving performance and satisfaction across the whole spectrum of our lives. Stulberg & Magness offer useful information and clear instruction for implementing their suggestions. I particularly like their discussion of purpose, and I appreciate the science they include in support of their suggestions.
  • The Power of Moments: Why Certain Moments Have Extraordinary Impact, by Chip & Dan Heath—So many good ideas in this book! The Heath brothers give practical steps for creating impact in daily life. They present a great deal of data in support of their recommendations for making mundane moments meaningful, enhancing any relationship and doing purposeful work.

True Crime

  • Closing Time: The True Story of the “Goodbar” Murder, by Lacey Fosburgh— This book, written in 1977 about a 1973 murder, compassionately explores the lives of both the victim and the murderer.
  • Doc: The Rape of the Town of Lovell, by Jack Olsen –This is the unsettling true story of a small-town doctor who used his position of power to rape generations of women in a conservative, religious community. It is a well-written, emotional account of terrible crimes and vicious supporters.

JustWind for JC: A Metric Century

Over the years, I have been deeply touched by the resilience and courage of a west Wichita family, the Delamores. I grew up attending church with Angie (Coffman) Delamore at St. Paul Apostle Catholic Church in Del City, Oklahoma. We lost touch over the years, but reconnected when our sons were babies over 12 years ago. Angie and I had both moved to the Wichita area, and before our mothers retired and moved to Kansas, they would drive up together from Oklahoma City to see their grandsons. Angie’s son JC was born July 1, 2004, exactly three months before my son Logan was born on October 1, 2004.

There are so many parallels in our lives.

I have been most deeply struck by the way our paths have diverged, however.

JC was diagnosed with leukemia when he was two years old.

All the years that we and Logan have been able to take for granted his ability to participate in sports, play freely with friends in the park or at the pool and enjoy Biking Across Kansas, JC has been valiantly coping with feeding tubes and central lines, bone marrow biopsies, surgeries, chemotherapy, spinal taps a bone marrow transplant, remissions and relapses.

Angie and her husband Scott have continually witnessed JC’s pain and suffering. As a mother, my heart aches to imagine what that must be like.

Throughout the decade since JC’s diagnosis, the family has lived with so much uncertainty, and their lives have been disrupted so many times by leukemia. The Delamores have faced each crisis with honesty, courage, unshakeable faith and resilience, living as absolute models of the JustWind philosophy, which acknowledges that life is full of challenges and can be lived with the highest quality when that fact is recognized and faced courageously. They do not seem to question why they have had to endure such suffering when others have been able to experience the milestones and adventures of a childhood without serious illness. Instead, they focus on treasuring each moment.

My urge to do something to help the family nagged me for years, especially each time I learned that JC had experienced a new relapse or crisis, but I didn’t act on it. Finally, when he relapsed this spring for the fifth time, after the family had enjoyed more than a year of remission following a bone marrow transplant from his dad, the nagging in my head and heart turned into the words of Colleen Patrick-Goudreau, a vegan outreach expert whom I admire, “Don’t do nothing just because you can’t do everything.” I kept hearing those words until I made the decision to reach out to Angie to ask her permission to organize a bike ride to raise money to help the family. Although she acknowledged that it is difficult to accept help, she gratefully gave me permission and said that this most recent relapse has left the family in a different position than they ever previously have been.

Virtually every medical option has been exhausted. They are currently staying in Maryland at the National Institute of Health, where JC is in the throes of an experimental treatment that does not promise a medical cure, but offers some hope. JC made the choice to participate in the study because he wants very much to experience as much as possible of all that life has to offer.

A fundraiser bike ride feels like the best way to use my strengths, experience, connections and passion to try to make some small difference in the life of this family.

I am organizing JustWind for JC: A Metric Century for 7 a.m., Saturday, August 12, 2017. It will start and finish in Andale High School parking lot at 700 W. Rush Andale, Kansas 67001. It will be a beautiful 62-mile ride on quiet, rural roads that I love to ride. Participants will experience three great small towns, two counties and two lakes and will have the opportunity to help the Delamore family with the limitless expenses associated with giving JC the best chance to live the life he loves.

Having been honored to be part of the Biking Across Kansas family since 1999, I know that cyclists are wonderful, generous people. Please join me for JustWind for JC if you are able and share this post and the event link with your cycling friends, as well as with others who may not be able to join us for the ride, but still have a desire to help. You may make a freewill donation and register for the ride here. Cash donations will also be accepted on the morning of the ride, and Team Delamore hoo rags (and, possibly, jerseys—stay tuned) will be available for purchase. Proceeds for the ride and hoo rag purchases will go directly to the Delamore family.

Once again, here is the link to register for the ride: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/justwind-for-jc-a-metric-century-tickets-35775030078

Intention

Meriam-Webster Dictionary defines “intention” as “a determination to act in a certain way” and “what one intends to do or bring about,” among other usages.

Bringing intention to just about anything can enhance both the experience in the moment and the effectiveness and level of satisfaction induced by the activity. Several synchronistic encounters have generated a resurgence of interest in practicing intention in my everyday life. Here are a few of the ways I am doing that.

Sleeping: Right before I go to sleep, as part of my nightly journaling practice, I set an intention to answer a question or solve a problem. I write it in my journal and ask my inner guidance to help me find the answer or solution. This sometimes leads to vivid dreams that steer me to a resolution. Other times, I awake with greater clarity or peace around the issue. Either way, I find that it is crucial to take a moment immediately upon awakening to record and process the guidance in my journal. Doing so contributes to deeper understanding and an increased chance of remembering and implementing what I learned in my sleep.

Eating: Adding intention around eating can be life changing. For me, intentional eating manifests in many ways. First and foremost, I eat plants, not sentient beings. My primary intention behind doing so is to add to the compassion, as opposed to the suffering, that exists in the world. A bonus is that the most compassionate way of eating is also most life-enhancing for my own body. By eating whole plant foods, I am intentionally doing what is best for raising the level of compassion in the world and for optimizing my own wellness. Beyond this most critical intention, I have committed to checking in with my emotions before I eat, to consciously and thoroughly chewing my food and to putting my fork down between bites. It is amazing how this can transform eating from a function to a practice. It can be challenging to accomplish this in the midst of a hectic day, with lunch squeezed tightly between appointments, but I make every effort to maintain my intentional practices around eating even then. I find that it helps my body to be in a calmer, more peaceful state to accept the nourishment that I give it.

Exercise: Physical activity, in itself, is wonderful for our bodies, minds and spirits. Engaging in regular physical activity has been one of the most transformative habits of my life. I have been a consistent exerciser since I was 23. My focus has shifted from gym to running to cycling over the years. While each has played an important role in who I have become, cycling is an absolute passion. I find the mood-enhancing and spirit-boosting effects of physical activity are elevated when I add another layer of intentionality to my exercise. I am committed to exercise because I know that moving my body in challenging ways makes me far, far happier and healthier than not doing so. I can get even more out of the movement when I meditate on a resonant quote and/or repeat affirmations to myself. On a recent bike ride, the quote that formed the basis for my intentional mediation was this one by Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”

This is a poignant reminder for me as I work toward some challenging goals. I also include on my rides affirmations designed to reprogram long-held beliefs that are not serving me. I find the combination of powerful physical activity that I love (cycling for me, but it might be something else for you) with positive self-talk and deep pondering of a worthwhile idea to be a particularly potent strategy for improving my confidence and my sense of well-being.

I recently read the excellent book Healthy Brain, Happy Life, by neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki. She explained how a workout called IntenSATI changed her life. The creator of IntenSATI, Patricia Moreno, combined a fusion (dance, martial arts, yoga and interval training) workout with powerful affirmations. Suzuki found that the intention this brought to her exercise changed the way she thought about herself, her body and what is possible in her life. She noticed that her creativity was enhanced, and she was more willing to take reasonable risks in her work and social life. I related strongly to what she said. My experiences on the bike, particularly combined with positive messaging to myself, permeate every aspect of my life and bring me renewal on a regular basis.

I am not necessarily successful at bringing intention to everything I do, but the areas where I do are more rewarding and help me to grow. In our highly distracted world today, the more intention we can introduce into our daily lives, the better. I believe that I have a responsibility to live my life with as much focus and purpose as possible so that I don’t miss the moments that comprise the whole of my existence.

Messages From a Spinning World

I went to bed on Wednesday, January 4 feeling perfectly fine and normal. On Thursday, January 5, my alarm went off at 5 a.m., as usual. I got out of bed just as I typically would. Then, I promptly found myself on the floor with the world spinning wildly and nauseatingly.

I sat there, stunned, wondering what had just happened and suddenly feeling really sick.

I tried to get up, but went back down, the world still turning and flashing in a highly disorienting way.

After several minutes, I was able to get up, but things were definitely not right. The violent motions made me nauseous, and I wondered if I had a virus. Although I vomited, the most prominent symptom was the dizziness.

I had my husband take me to the doctor and learned that my right ear was bulging badly with fluid, and there was also fluid on my left ear. The nurse practitioner surmised that the fluid build-up was causing my dizziness, but also told me that there might be calcium crystals (called otoconia) in my inner ear, behind the fluid in my middle ear. She offered several possible treatments, and I chose nasal spray over oral Prednisone. I also tried the home Epley Maneuver, but felt terrible after doing it, so I have not yet tried it again.

Eleven days after its sudden onset, my vertigo is much better, but, disappointingly, not gone. I am planning to schedule an appointment with an otolaryngologist (Ear, Nose, Throat—ENT) doctor to check on the status of my ears and to find out if there is anything I can or should be doing to expedite my full recovery.

Here is my theory about what happened.

I had an ear infection in my right ear in November that arose immediately after an extremely stressful event at work, during which I literally felt my body being attacked on the inside. It sounds crazy, but it is true, and I developed the ear infection, a terrible canker sore in my throat and a stress rash that flares up with stressful events, because of the onslaught of stress hormones. I was treated with Augmentin for the ear infection, and it healed. The NP who saw me for the vertigo believes that the fluid was residual from the infection, although there is no current infection. I think there probably are some otoconia involved, although I don’t know that for sure.

On the evening of January 4, I attended my first session at Orange Theory Fitness. I was interested in adding OTF as a supplement to my off-season training. While I still exercise every day during the winter, and I ride when I can, I miss my bike, and I wanted something to spice things up. So, although, exercise wasn’t unusual, the motions in OTF—a combination of rapid rowing on a rowing machine; fast-paced weight training, in a wide range of positions; and power walking at steep inclines on the treadmill—were different than what I have been doing. My off-season training generally includes cycling on days off work, when weather permits; the indoor spinning bike; circuit training, but with fewer dramatic changes of position; Foundation Training; yoga and walking. I believe that I had an underlying problem, residual from the ear infection, and the many quick and dramatic position changes probably caused the pressure from the fluid to move otoconia into undesirable locations in my inner ear, and I awoke the next morning, after the crystals settled while I was lying down, with vertigo.

I don’t know that any of this is true, but this is my theory.

I do want to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Orange Theory Fitness. It is a sound and effective way to exercise. I was greeted when I walked in the door, with, “Hey, you’re my advisor!” by the coach for my class, who is one of our Exercise Science students. The owner has been super nice and very understanding of my need to cancel my plans to join as a seasonal member. (I can’t even think about the movement of a rowing machine or lying down on a weight bench right now.) There is no reason that most healthy people should not be able to work out at OTF safely and uneventfully. I think I just happened to have an unknown underlying situation that was waiting to be stirred up by certain movements that I had not been doing in my daily life.

Anyway, hopefully, I will learn more and be able to rid myself of this strange, uncomfortable and annoying problem when I see the ENT.

In the meantime, I have been able to draw some interesting analogies to life because I like to try to learn from every situation.

A signature of this vertigo is that certain positions create problems, while I can feel reasonably “normal” when I avoid them. Once I got past the acute onset and figured out where I had to be careful, I recognized that lying down or moving my head to one side or the other while lying down creates the most trouble. Sitting up from lying down or rolling to one side can also create fairly dramatic vertigo. Bending down, moving my head forward, looking up to a high shelf, tilting my head to the left or right or looking down while moving can also cause problems. So, I have learned to be deliberate in my movements.

I can liken this sense of being off balance physically and the unsettling sensations that result to being out of balance in my life, emotional vertigo. If I notice what activities cause me to feel bad, and which ones feel right, I can make conscious decisions about how I spend my time and energy. I can take notice and regularly assess what causes problems and decide to make adjustments to bring my daily activities into better alignment with my strengths, talents, passions and values. Like this physical vertigo, emotional vertigo may not have a quick fix, and it may take trying a variety of remedies. It may require consulting professionals and doing research on my own. I was already in the process of examining my life and looking at what feels right and what does not and setting into motion some changes to bring my life into better, healthier alignment. They won’t happen quickly, but, just as the vertigo has forced me to pay close attention to how I move my body in space, I choose to recognize the signs—some manifesting physically—of a life out of balance and out of alignment with what matters to me. Once I identify the problems, I can make deliberate, conscious movements toward the solutions.

My Favorite Books in 2016

Once again, reading was a rewarding and enriching aspect of my year. I am excited to share my second annual list, roughly, by the order in which I read the books listed in each genre, of my favorite books from a year of reading.

Memoir is one of my favorite genres, and it was interesting to note how many of the books I most enjoyed in 2016 came from that category. A number of them were about epic journeys of one type of another. I love the idea of a quest for personal growth and soul searching. Many of my bike rides become those in miniature for me. Vicariously, I learn and grow from the memoirists’ quests, and they inspire me to explore the idea of setting out on adventures of my own, whether geographic or metaphorical in nature.

These are the books that I gave four or five stars in Goodreads during 2016.

Business

Health

History

Memoir/Biography

Nutrition/Cooking

 

Personal/Professional Development

  • Retire Inspired: It’s Not an Age, It’s a Financial Number, by Chris Hogan—I felt motivated to take action toward improving my financial future after reading this book. Unfortunately, I haven’t followed through on everything that I planned at that time, but I do intend to refer back to this competent guide.
  • What I Know For Sure, by Oprah Winfrey—I just love Oprah, and this collection of her popular column, “What I Know for Sure,” in O Magazine is light, easy reading that imparts a lot of quotable wisdom.

Social Justice

True Crime & Justice

Writing

Walking on Sunshine: 52 Small Steps to Happiness, a Book Review

Walking on Sunshine, by British author Rachel Kelly, is a quick, easy read that is not really intended to be read through all at once. In a similar vein to Jon Cousins’ Nudge Your Way to Happiness, Walking on Sunshine provides bite-sized ideas for increasing happiness. In this case the happiness prescriptions are delivered one week at a time for one year, instead of one day at a time for one month, as was the case in Cousins’ book.

Kelly organized this book by seasons, beginning with spring, loosely defined as March, April and May. Personally, this organizational calendar did not appeal, for two primary reasons. The main one stems from one of my own happiness struggles—self-diagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder. Just seeing the word “Autumn,” although less depressing than its alternative, “Fall,” causes me to feel heaviness in my body. In a book intended to promote happiness, that feels counterproductive. I recognize that is my own issue, and others may not have the same visceral reaction to the season that I do. The second reason that I would prefer a different structure is that it seems somewhat potentially difficult for someone to pick up the book and start at the “right” week, since the weeks are numbered, but begin with March, not January. Maybe there is no real “right” way to use the book, but for those of us who like order and logic, this feels a bit unnerving.

Those minor criticisms aside, I really like Kelly’s message, which, like Cousins’, is essentially that we have some power to help ourselves when we are feeling down. It does not always have to involve prescription medication or weekly therapy (although those things may have their places). Proactively brightening our own spirits can be as simple as a self-administered relaxation exercise, connecting with a beloved animal companion or volunteering for a worthwhile cause.

As someone who reads a lot of positive psychology and has made significant conscious effort to boost my own mood in a variety of ways, Kelly’s simple, accessible suggestions resonate with me. She makes references to poetry in several places. While it is not poetry, specifically, that centers me, words are extremely important to my mood management. My collections of quotes are some of my most powerful happiness boosts. Kelly seems to find some of her strongest boosts in poetry.

I recommend this book for its simplicity and accessibility. There is nothing Kelly suggests that can be harmful, and her easy-to-implement strategies may be just the spirit boosts someone needs.

Book Review: Nudge Your Way to Happiness, Jon Cousins

I initially read Nudge Your Way to Happiness, by Jon Cousins, all the way through because I wanted a feel for the entire book, but it is not really meant to be read that way. The book is designed to provide a customized, 30-day program for edging up one’s happiness. Reading it through initially, I found myself annoyed because Cousins frequently made statements such as, “Right now, when things are better . . .” and “Although you may be feeling well at the moment . . . .” I kept thinking, “How does he know how I am feeling right now?” Then, it dawned on me that the issue was with how I was reading the book vs. how it was meant to be read. Actually, a unique and interesting feature of the book is that Cousins provides three possible “nudges” each day. The reason he might make a statement about how the reader was feeling is that the particular nudge was designed for either a low-mood day, an average day or a high-mood day. Once that occurred to me, I was better able to appreciate the features of each exercise.

I read a lot of positive psychology and happiness literature, and Cousins utilizes strategies from many well-respected researchers and authors. The exercises he recommends are solid, practical and simple. They are brief enough and accessible enough that even someone experiencing depression could perform them.

After reading the book through once, I began my journey to work through the book day by day. Today is Day 21. Reading and utilizing the book as it was designed to be used is more rewarding than simply reading it as a typical book. Cousins suggests doing the exercises first thing in the morning, and that is what I am doing. I think the most important thing is to choose a consistent time.

I like the checklist that Cousins provides each day, creating an opportunity to check in with myself and see how I am feeling across 10 variables. As someone who is very introspective, I find myself looking forward to my morning assessment. Perhaps even more interesting or useful is the graph at the back of the book that provides an opportunity to plot the trends in my happiness score throughout the project. Each day, Cousins asks the question, “What happened?” This allows me to reflect on the reason for my current happiness score and to better understand the peaks and valleys in the graph.

Nudge Your Way to Happiness is a simple, but well-written and useful, book that draws from the existing happiness and positive psychology literature and translates it into a practical formula for thinking about our own level of positive vs. negative emotions and reflecting on the reasons for those levels. In addition to providing daily exercises that can serve as tools, not just during the 30 days of working through the book, but on an ongoing basis. The book’s value derives from both those tools and from the introspection the daily tracking inspires. Understanding more about the things that boost our mood and the things that drain us of energy and joy allows us to take action to incorporate into our lives more of the former and less of the latter.

I recommend this book for people who are seeking to enhance their happiness, ward off seasonal blues, push back a natural inclination toward the melancholy or to combat depression. It is a strategy that can do no harm and certainly can teach us something that may help us in both the short term and the long term.

A Strong Foundation for Cycling . . . and Life

Over several years, despite cycling consistently, my average speed had become lower than I wanted it to be—not particularly slow, but slower than it seemed like it should be. While a number of different factors probably contributed, one variable seemed to be a decreased ability to easily engage my hamstrings in the pedaling effort. This is not uncommon in cyclists, whose quadriceps often carry the load. The hamstrings are important, however, in knee flexion, the “pull-up” phase of the pedal stroke, and in hip extension, an aspect of the “push-down” phase of the pedal stroke. Those phases obviously take place every revolution, so I knew that I would benefit by regaining more hamstrings engagement in my cycling. What I had noticed over the years, though, was that consciously engaging and emphasizing my hamstrings on the upstroke was exhausting and not sustainable for long.

During the same time frame that my cycling speed diminished, I also experienced a troubling onset of hip and lower back symptoms. I have scoliosis, and an x-ray a few years ago showed spondylolisthesis (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spondylolisthesis), a condition where vertebrae are displaced and pushed forward. I also had quite a bit of pain consistent with piriformis syndrome (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piriformis_syndrome) and some sciatica (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sciatica). In short, my whole lower back and hip region, especially on my right side, had become a mess.

While I haven’t entirely eliminated these issues, I have found a resource that has given me significant relief and has also improved my cycling.

Over a year and a half ago, I incorporated Foundation Training (http://www.foundationtraining.com/) into my training program in the last few weeks of my cycling off-season. I had been having quite a bit of discomfort and was searching for exercises that would give me relief. I had tried yoga, self-myofascial release (http://www.mythrivemag.com/dont-be-a-tight-ass-self-myofascial-release/), with both a foam roller and massage balls, and stretching that targeted the piriformis and lower back. Short of cycling—the more I ride the better I feel—nothing really made a noticeable, sustainable difference. I ordered the Foundation Training book and did exercises from it for the first seven weeks. Within just about three weeks, I noticed a difference in both the way I felt and the way I rode. I ordered the DVD set and added to my Foundation repertoire. Since that time, Foundation Training has been a primary component of my fitness and training program. The latest book by Dr. Eric Goodman, True to Form, updated my understanding of Foundation Training and assisted me in further integrating it into my everyday life.

Foundation Training focuses on strengthening the posterior kinetic chain, the muscles on the back of our bodies that support our movements through daily life, including the lower back, glutes, hamstrings and calves. As the creator of Foundation Training explains in this video (http://www.foundationtraining.com/videos_and_blog/tedx-talk-remedy-for-back-pain/), back pain is frequently associated with improper movement patterns that increasingly weaken the posterior chain and prevent it from supporting our bodies the way it was intended to do. It is designed for everyone, from individuals with chronic back pain and conditions to elite athletes. All can benefit, and virtually anyone can do at least some of the exercises. People with chronic conditions may not be ready for all of them initially, but they can at least do the beginning exercises and build on those as their foundations grow stronger and more functional.

Foundation Training has noticeably improved my ability to engage my hamstrings, as well as to utilize my glutes more effectively, while cycling. I gained speed and had the perception of increased power (I do not have a power meter, so I don’t have objective evidence.) on my bike. I was able to ride faster and to sustain my speed for longer distances. These gains have persisted over time and across seasons. My sciatica is virtually gone, and my piriformis pain is dramatically reduced. I still have some hip pain, particularly some mornings or when I am sitting for long periods of time, but the pain is less, both in frequency and intensity.

I have given Foundation Training as gifts, and I have recommended it to others. I will continue to do so, and I will continue to practice it. I believe in its efficacy because I feel and experience the results daily. I have aspirations to get certified as a Foundation Trainer someday, so that I can share with more people the benefits of this unique form of fitness training.